Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Why the Bachelor will never work

So last night I got SUCKED into watching The Bachelor on TV. The DH likes to fall asleep to tv and he's had it on a few times so as a result I'm familiar with the show (even though I try to tune it out. I try so hard! But when women are biting chunks out of soda cans with their teeth to get the Bachelor's attention it's darn HARD to turn away!!!) So when DH said, "Oh, come on! You know you want to see who he picks!" I was like, "Drat you!!! I HATE this show!!" And then I stayed up until 11pm watching it while he snored next to me.
But I just have to say, first of all, I think it is one of the stupidest reality tv shows they've come up with- and that's a big insult due to the sheer volume of HORRID reality tv programming. The concept of having one hunky bachelor and 20+beautiful women competing for him with the idea that he'll meet "Mrs. Right" and they'll get married and have babies is pure rubbish. It never works. It never will.
That is not how men operate.
Men are hunters. They like the chase. This is not a secret- it's one of those universal truths that has existed since the beginning of time. As a rule, men do not like for women to pursue them. Flirting? Yes. Come hither glances? Yes. Returned phone calls? Sure. But doing outlandish things to get attention (singing opera, pole dancing, biting into cans (I can't get over that one!)- and beggaring oneself with every phrase under the sun that means "pick me!!!"- not what men want. I'm rather confident of this, having been around a few times on the dating carousel myself.
So why do the guys do it? Because just as much as I've never known a guy who wanted to marry a forward woman who was trying to run him to ground, I've also never met one who wouldn't want to be surrounded by dozens of beautiful women who all WANT HIM. I mean, really- what red-blooded man doesn't want that? It's a dream come true.
Of course, after he's lived in a fantasy world of intricately planned over-the-top dates and weekends in Barbados, he may think he's made a match. And then they have this final (and ridiculous) rose ceremony where the Bachelor gets on one knee (in front of cameras, of course) and gives a pretty speech and tells his bachelorette how he's fallen head over heels, and won't she marry him? Cue the doves and flower petals.
And then, a few months later, we read in People magazine that they aren't together anymore- it "didn't work out."
I guess once the romantic villas and lavish dates and tv cameras go away, these two people finally realize that they really don't know each other at all. He doesn't know she can't cook. She doesn't know what a whiny sick patient he'll be. He doesn't know how to reconcile their different goals for the future. She doesn't know how to reconcile their religious beliefs. He doesn't know that she has a lot of childhood baggage that plays into some major family drama. She doesn't know that his childhood dream is to move to the woods and build a cabin. He doesn't know that she likes to get up and run first thing in the morning. She doesn't know that he likes to sleep in until noon and exercise in the evening. He doesn't know that Jim Carrey impressions can always make her laugh. She doesn't know that letting him have 10 minutes with the paper when he gets home from work makes all the difference.
They don't know anything. Their relationship is a castle of sand to be crushed by the first big wave because it's imaginary. There is nothing real about it, aside from a sexual attraction and maybe some basic friendship/camaraderie.
And still I watch.
So what I'm wondering is who is stupider- them or me?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I am SO behind with my blog reading. We were gone all weekend, only to come home and turn around and go back out of town for the day, then today I spent most of my time at church getting ready for a special meal, yada yada yada. So, thank you for stopping by anyway, like a good friend. :) I will be back on a routine one day.

I'm tweaking the blog, but it's slow going. It's not there yet, which provides me with extra stress, which is silly.

I hate reality tv. Is there no one out there with DIGNITY anymore?
Anyone? Anyone?
Bueller? Bueller?